…I am an addict. Admitting it, I understand, is the first step, so here I am, white flag in hand, furiously waving it about for all to see my inglorious fallibilities. I am human, after all. And doing my damn best as I go along.

I’ve alluded to my dependence in previous posts, and doing so has only inflamed the intensity of my passion for it, causing me to ask questions about why it’s considered a “problem” in the first place. Sure, I’ve wasted hours of my life submitting to the fix. And, yes, of my own volition, I’ve donated cash dolla bills to the cause. But am I really addicted or just super dedicated?

Dedicated. Dedicated is the answer. In fact, my dedication goes above and beyond. I have commitment, discipline, and devotion in spades. My motivation, while clearly focused on outcome, has evolved into daily patterns and commited routines. And much as this seems like a bad thing? It really ain’t.

Because I? Am addicted to recipes.

It wasn’t always like this. When I had time on my hands, poring over recipes online was not my go-to—that was mostly reserved for Mahjong and science or history podcasts, self-professed nerd that I am. And while I have not given up either the game or shows, I have fervidly weasled into their allotted time in my enthusiasm for new meals.

As a spankin’ new vegan, I was eager to get into the kitchen and experiment, so in pursuit of my obsession, I purchased an app called ReciMe to help keep things organized. So, while I’ve got thousands of recipes piling up in an online cookbook, hey, at least everything is properly filed.

And, oh, my algorithm knows me so well. I don’t hunt for recipes so much as I drown in them. Tofu, and mushrooms, and beans, oh my! And here I am, furiously uploading, my eager palate awaiting something new and tasty.

And, in my dedication (erm, obsession?), I have indeed become a student of vegan culinary. In no way could you call me a scholar, mind you, and my presentation mostly sucks, but god damn, I’ve cooked some really good food since this all began. And in fact, while I may have thousands of uncooked recipes stored in categorized cookbooks on my ReciMe app? The one titled Rotation Recipes includes 183 tried-and-true meals made by Yours Truly. And that’s pretty freaking cool.

By the way, in this post I am not disparaging addicts in any way, merely making light of my own tendencies. I apologize if I offended anyone with my casual attitude to addiction. Related but not entirely, I have been on the wagon for four months, four days, 20 hours, 16 minutes, and eight seconds. But who’s counting?