I was six years old the first time I got busted for skipping. My mom—my sweet, exhausted mother—was unaware that I was hiding in the way-back of the station wagon after she dropped her half dozen kids at a church activity. The next time I skipped, I was twelve, and didn't want to tell my … Continue reading Playin’ Hooky & Pursuing Know-How
One of my fave writers once said, "You know, when you first start writing you're going to suck. And so it's good to keep it to yourself, until maybe you don't suck as much." And, holy balls, do I hear that—too my very core, a phrase, by the way, I just learned originated from 14th-century … Continue reading Flesh out the Suck
Before we go further, I'd like to address the ugly, orange elephant in the room. This entry is not about DJT. Not at all. It just pisses me off that one of the most vile people on the planet stole one of the coolest words- especially given the asshole's name is actually Drumpf. And there's … Continue reading The Trump of Tropes: The One
I'll say upfront that I'm healthy as a horse, depending on the horse, and also what a weird saying that is, anyway. That is to say that I'm all good, and according to my recent bloodwork, even better than that. Short the pending results from my boob smashing session as well as the upcoming tube-up-the-pooper, … Continue reading Death Becomes Her
If Michael's craft store was any indicator, every holiday post the fourth of July began at that very time. Commercialism abound, once the American flag was outsold or packed away? You could be sure a cornucopia filled with summer squash could be found as easily as a glow-in-the-dark skeleton or a floppy red Santa hat. … Continue reading Happy Hallothanksmas!
It's been eleven years and three months since I entered the world of the single life after more than twenty years of marriage. In that time, for the bigger part, I've been happily on my own as I come to know myself. And in finding that person, that "new" me? I've done some running around. … Continue reading WTF is Home, Anyway?
Happy belated manufactured love day. My brain, which is as often as not in complete incoherence with my heart, basically gives the finger to the fake holiday. My heart, meanwhile, seems to give no shits, although maybe it would matter if I had an other in my life. Either way, their handshake solidarity is shaky, … Continue reading Da Brain. Duh, Heart.
About two months ago, after living among the mountains and Mormons for a year, I returned to my friend Amy's house, my very familiar ever-home in Portland. Back to living with another one of my besties. Back to a menagerie of animals (three dogs, four cats, six kittens and eight chickens). Back to long daily … Continue reading Mental Health Break: My Grippy Socks Vacation
My mother taught me to treat everyone with kindness. She was adamant that the guy pumping the gas was as valuable as the guy sitting in the boardroom. Buuuuut, as is human nature, her judgment was still there - however small - and she once referred to Nicolas Cage as the "greasy gas station attendant … Continue reading Socrates is my Homeboy
“I laugh because I must not cry, that is all, that is all.” - Abraham Lincoln Truth is, my worries are a fraction of what ol’ Abe was facing right smack in the middle of the Civil War when he wrote these words, paraphrasing the poet Lord Byron’s Don Juan. And, just the same, that … Continue reading Bam, Perspective!
